Measles, Mumps, and Runaway Cow Dominate 1891 Sheridan Advance Correspondent’s Column

The Sheridan Advance Liberty Column from Long Hungry from the April 16th, 1891 issue:

I expect a great many people who read this paper wondered last week where Long Hungry was, so I guess I had better explain myself so they won’t think I was off on a tear. I was out searching for Aunt Betsy and got in a scrape, got every bone in my ear broke, my left lung thrown out of joint, and the slack part of my trouser-loons pretty badly caved in, so I was getting repaired and am now patched up so as to scribble again.

Farmers busy putting in oats the fore part of the week, but the rains have stopped them at present.

Grass begins to look green in this part of old Missouri.

Miss Maude and Perlie Tebow were visiting at Mr. Payne’s one day last week.

Mr. Crulls’ family are sick with the rose rash.

T.F. Payne and W.B. Mitchell are building this week.

Mrs. Mitchell was visiting the family of Mr. Carruthers one day last week.

The largest crowd attended Sunday School last Sunday there has been at all. May the good work go on.

Ha, ha, Bert, how about that, “No sir.”

Miss Lilly and Bell Carruthers and Celia Payne have been on the sick list, but are some better at this writing.

Mr. Eddie Dye was visiting at his Uncle John Payne’s last Saturday and Sunday.

Sunshine said the reason his items were so scarce was because the measles and mumps were so thick in their vicinity. Some people may think that is the reason, but I do not, it was because the sun did not shine for about a week.

Dillard Payne has been staying at his Grandpa’s for the last week, but will return home soon.

Glen was seen going towards Parnell City Sunday. Is there anything attractive down there, Glen? If there is, maybe Long Hungry would like to go too.

Sam Cline says he does not intend to stay in this vicinity long. We will be awfully sorry to see you leave, Sam, as you are one of our most attractive young men.

I wonder if Mose’s eyesight is any better.

Mr. and Mrs. Payne were trading in Parnell Saturday; they reported the roads good and corn 57 cents a bushel.

Oscar Payne says he has an attraction down South. What is down there, Oscar?

Mrs. Watt is on the sick list with neuralgia.

Well, as I can think of no more this week, I will big you all adieu and try again as I am only patched up this week by being out after Aunt Betsy and not finding her goes pretty hard with L.H. but we’ll try and come every week after this as I do not think I will take such a tear anymore.