A Remembrance of Edna Burke
by Helen King Burke
July 27, 2008
As I write this, my former mother-in-law, Edna Burke, lies in a nursing home near Grant City, age 98. Her daughter, Pat Burke, has asked me to write a remembrance of her mother.
The first thing you need to know about Edna is that as her daughter-in-law formerly married to her son John, I call her "Mother," despite the obvious fact that she isn't my real mother! We used to joke that she was my "west coast mother" since my biological one lived on the East Coast.
For me, she has all the attributes of a mother: kind, patient, supportive, giving guidance when appropriate. She made it a point not to interfere, almost to a fault. As a daughter-in-law, however, I really appreciate this characteristic. A measure of our mutual affection is the fact that our relationship continued after John and I were divorced in 1984.
I remember sitting around the Burke dining room table eating Edna's wonderful homecooked meals, including her famous fruit pies or discussing plans for upcoming holidays or other get-togethers like birthdays. Edna did not like me to do the dishes! However, if I was quick and lucky, I could get in the kitchen to wash the dishes before she knew what was happening. After dinner, we would often have a game of pinochle or samba.
Another side of Mother's homemaking skills was her canning ability. Every summer, a date for canning would be selected (when fruit was ripe and plentiful) and fresh fruit -- usually apricots -- would be purchased, and Edna would spend the day in the kitchen canning. She made fresh apricot nectar and apricot jam, not to mention an apricot pie on the side. She had all the requisite equipment. I learned to make jams and jellies and nectar by watching her -- and of course enjoyed sharing the bounty at the end.
Her homemaking skills extended outside of the house as well. Edna maintained the yards; she planted ivy and bushes in the front and kept a small lawn area in the back with more bushes. She pruned bushes, planted greenery, mowed the lawn, raked the leaves, and kept the eaves clear. Several plants were flowering so we all enjoyed the added benefit of having fresh cut flowers in the house. I think all this exercise kept her in fighting trim; she never had a problem with being overweight and was quite nimble into her nineties.
One topic of conversation at the table was local nonpartisan politics which everyone pretty much agreed on. National and state politics were another matter -- John and I were confirmed Democrats; Pat, Edna, and Jim dyed-in-the-wool Republicans. After arriving with John in Berkley in 1971 from the East Coast and getting married, I had become very active in local environmental issues which led to my running for the East Bay Municipal Utility District (EBMUD) Board of Directors. EBMUD is a large water and sewer district in the East Bay. I ran on an environmental platform of more water conservation and won. Then, I faced the challenge of making progress on issues often as a minority of one. This situation was grist for a lot of discussions around the Burke table -- where I got the Castro Valley perspective! Mom (and Pat) were very interested and supportive and kept me abreast of any developments relating to EBMUD in southern Alameda County.
Mother wrote a short piece for a program celebrating my 16 years on the EBMUD Board when I retired in 1990. She wrote, "Helen has since proved herself well against constant opposition to new ideas and has succeeded in making changes that have benefited the people of the entire district. We are proud of her!" Such support and enthusiasm kept me going on the EBMUD Board against what often seemed like overwhelming odds.
I remember when I first started campaigning for the EBMUD board, I didn't have the money to buy appropriate clothes for the campaign trail. John and I were just married and pinching pennies. To deal with the situation, for my birthday, Mother discretely took me shopping and bought me one complete outfit -- pants suit, matching skirt, two tops, and shoes -- that kept me going through the campaign.
One characteristic of Mother is her wit and wisdom. She is able to simplify complex situations and issues down to a few words in a way that makes us laugh. For example, once when there was a situation about someone who was recently "departed," she interjected, "He didn't depart; he was took!"
Another way in which Mother was supportive was in taking care of the dog when John and I traveled. After John and I divorced, she (and Pat) continued to take care of my dogs. This was a big help to me as a single woman working for the EPA who frequently had to travel. It was a huge relief -- not to mention a financial saving -- to know the dog was being well taken care of in a friendly environment by relatives. Mother established boundaries for the dogs -- when the dog stayed with Mother and Pat, it was only allowed in the garage and kitchen and could not come into the rest of the house as it was in my home in Berkley!
Edna had Midwestern roots -- she grew up in Sheridan, MO as Edna Carr. She would tell us stories about her youth. She reminisced about riding in a horse and buggy with her Mother through the rain to go to an evening suffragette meeting. She wanted to become a nurse and took courses in St. Louis to that end. She met her future husband Jim when she was a nurse taking care of a patient. A nurse friend asked Jim to fix Edna's broken radio and the rest, as they say, is history! Edna (also known as Jackie) was quite a looker then; she was known, according to a nurse friend, as "Jackie Carr with the boyish bob that would make even Rudy Vallee sob!" At the time, Jim was chief engineer at a local radio station, KWK in St. Louis and was quite a celebrity! They were married soon afterwards.
When they married, according to an earlier ethic, Jim did not want his wife to work. I think this may have caused some disappointment and sadness for Edna, but since I've known her, she has never shown it nor talked about it. She has made the best of her situation.
In retrospect, Edna is a Midwestern woman who learned to become a good wide, mother, and homemaker and around whose industriousness, wit, wisdom, and supportiveness enriches the lives of those around her. I feel fortunate to have such a mother-in-law!
***
Edna was born on September 26, 1909 in Palisade, CO, Her parents were Weltha Rosetta Wake Carr and DeRoy Schoonover Carr, who both came from pioneer families. The Wakes settled in Northwest Missouri since the Civil War and the Carr ancestor arrived in America in 1635.
The Carr family left Colorado in 1912, returning to the Sheridan area. Edna was raised on the farm on Route F now owned by Carr grandson Doy and Shirley Allee. Through 8th grade, Edna attended a nearby one-room school on what is now Falcon Trail. A favorite memory of Sheridan High School days was riding a horse to town, often meeting the boys at the bridge for a race to the stables. She graduated in 1927.
After nurse's training, Edna stayed in St. Louis to pursue a career as a private duty nurse. A sotry from 1937 was of the man with an obscene infection rapidly climbing up his leg. He was expected to die. There was a new drug that had not yet been tried by anyone in the city. Edna was brought in to administer precise doses at precise times. In 48 hours, the infection had receded and the man lived. It was a time when miracle drugs were truly miracles. The drug was sulfa.
Edna married James Burke of St. Louis in late 1937 and by 1942, the couple were looking towards opportunities on the West Coast. Jim's radio and electronics experience landed him a job at what is now known as the Laurence Berkley Livermore Laboratories in Berkley, CA. The family moved to Castro Valley in 1947, where Edna lived until 2003.
Having a husband carrying a top security clearance during the height of the Cold War with the FBI visiting neighbors every six months, was inhibiting. He couldn't do anything to draw attention. Thus Edna confined her outside activities to the PTA while her children were growing up. By the late 1950's, she could offer her services as a poll officer (and her garage as a polling pace). It turned out to be a commitment of more than 20 years.
While Him's professional interests turned to medical applications of atomic energy in the 1960's, both he and Edna began to work on numerous community projects which continued until a few years before Jim's death in 1985. Edna also enjoyed involvement in local Republican politics and a major club activity was the DAR. For many years, the Burkes were also well-known in local square dance circles.
As Edna's mother married Challie Graham after her father's death in 1934 and continued to live in Sheridan and as her older sister, Marie Allee Roberts, also remained in the area, Sheridan was a focus for regular visits from the late 1920's onward. However, as trips were hurried, there was only time for visiting with immediate relatives and contacts faded over the years. Edna and her daughter Patricia moved back to Northwest Missouri in 2006, building a new house in Sheridan on Third Street.
Edna was preceded in death by her parents, her husband Jim, and all her siblings; four sisters and two brothers.
She is survived by her daughter Patricia and her son John and his wife Mary. She was a beloved aunt to numerous nieces and nephews, both of her own family and that of her husband. In some instances, she could count four generations. They are scattered across the country from the East to West coasts although many on Edna's side still remain in Northwest Missouri and Southwest Iowa, and on Jim's side, in St. Louis. Those in the immediate area are Guy and Willa Allee, Doy and Shirley Allee, and Martha Rush of Sheridan; Beverly and Roy Mayes of Maryville along with members of their respective families. Also, there is the Ardyth and Max Park family in Bedford. The Wakes in the area are first cousins of several degrees removal.
A Memorial Service and Celebration of Life for Edna is planned for a later date as yet undetermined.
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