Duane "Comish" James Writes His Own Obituary

 By Duane “Comish” James

Thank you for coming today to say goodbye.  The one thing you all have in common here today is this—your lives were somehow touched by a man called Comish.  I hopefully touched each one of you in different ways.  I tried to be a loving husband, dad, grandpa, good friend, and neighbor yet, more.  

The year was 1955 when W. Alton and Ellen J. James welcomed another baby to the family, on the home place South of Grant City.  The home place is now the farm which Cathy and I own, and where we managed the cattle operation.  My cattle operation started with two bottle calves, which over 30 years has become a 75 cow/calf angus operation.  All of which are branded with our J4 brand.  J4—which came from 4 in my family, 40 acres bought for $400 an acre, purchased in 1994.

As a young boy I can remember our big meal was once a month, dad would find hamburger three pounds for a dollar, a 15 cent can of tomato juice, and tomatoes for 27 cents a pound, and a 29 cent pound bag of macaroni. All these put together would make our delicacy for the month.

I received my education by attending Worth County R-1 in Grant City.  Yet, the most formative part of my learning came from attending “classes” at Adams Store in Worth, Missouri.   It was here that I learned about engines- watching “Doc”, and helping him as they were repaired.  Some of my best used knowledge came at the hands of the locals as we played dominos and checkers.  They allowed me to play and laughed many a time as they would beat me soundly.  But the day came when I started to win, both at checkers and dominos.  The laughter stopped as they could no longer beat me at the game they were once the best at.  And lastly, but probably the most notable thing, that I took with me from Adams store was the name given to me by Blaine, which was “Comish”.  Because he said, “one day you’ll be the commissioner for the town of Worth.”

In 1974, I graduated from Adams School in Worth, and started working at Groce Chevrolet and Oldsmobile in Grant City. 

During the days hanging out at the Adams Store I noticed a young lady that was always with my sister Elaine.  Feeling I am a good judge of people, just think, look at his wife of 45 years.  I saw a good lady and won her heart.  This young lady, Cathy was her name, caused “Comish” James to be smitten by love.  I couldn’t keep my eyes off her as she would walk by everyday going to and from the bus.  As her parents really didn’t care much for me, with my mechanic skills, let alone the domino and checker games I’d won.  Even with my title “Commissioner of Worth,” I couldn’t gain their approval to date their daughter, so a date was out of the question.   

Then, came the marriage of sister Elaine.  Having the honor of being the best man, and Cathy Besco, the maid of honor.  Yes, it was at the wedding that “Comish” could be close to and talk to this beautiful girl that I’d been admiring.  If it weren’t for the wedding rehearsal, I may not have gotten that first kiss, and well, as they say, the rest is history.

I was not a church going man. However, that didn’t mean I didn’t have a relationship with God.  My health issues made me evaluate life and all things about it. I’ve always had a strong sense of right and wrong.  I tried to show my faith in the way I daily lived my life and treated others.  If someone, anyone, needed help, I tried to be there and listen, lend a hand, or help anyway I could.  

In 1984, I purchased the station from Bud Groce.  The station has been offering full service to customers for years.  The past years have allowed me the opportunity to become friends with many of Worth County’s citizens.  Whether I worked on your car, changed the oil, fixed a tire, or just pumped your gas it was always an EXPERIENCE going to Comish’s Service.  Probably some of the most memorable times for his patrons were the auto inspections.  Once, when first coming to town, a new pastor went to get his vehicle licensed at Kenton Thompson’s License Bureau. Kenton told him, “You don’t have all your papers in order”.  “You need an inspection young man, go see Comish.”  Yes, it was all in one day that the new pastor had the pleasure of meeting Kenton Thompson and Comish James, and surviving it.  Len Green will never forget it!  And like many others, their friendship will never be forgotten.

I strived to be someone you could count on.  Whatever I told you, my word was truthful and dependable.  My convictions, beliefs and opinions were admired by many—in fact many could say that I may have bordered on being stubborn and set in his ways.  That might be putting it mildly, but I ask you, aren’t we all?

I had many loves in my life, my farm, “the old home place” and the cattle there, was a place I loved.  I felt like I was good with my cows and working on the farm.  I also loved early morning drives around the county and city, checking up on places in the community that I cared about. I loved all the many friends I made being in business for over 35 years at Comish’s Station.

But my biggest loves in my life was my family, my wife Cathy, daughters Sherri and Becky, my granddaughters Kaylee and Claire and my grandson, my special buddy, Cooper.  I was always quick to brag on them and their accomplishments. My outlook on life changed for me the day Cooper was born.  He came into my life at a time when I was ready to let cancer beat me.  Cooper gave me a new reason to keep fighting daily for every extra day I could get.  I got to watch him grow and change for 14 months of his life.  I probably taught him things that “Mom” didn’t approve of, but hey, that’s what Papa’s do, right?  Cooper, I love you to the world and back!  I know you will be a “real man” someday.

For our 25th anniversary Cathy talked me into going on a cruise, we loved it!  And the cruise addiction never stopped.  We booked 16 more after that.  It was our annual escape to many beautiful islands and one to the unforgettable Alaska.  Before the cruising bug we took many road trips across our great country, the National Parks in Utah, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, the Smoky Mountains, Niagara Falls, Golden Gate Bridge, the Redwood Forest, Colorado, to name a few.  If there was a train ride at any of these destinations, we would take a ride. The most memorable train ride was in Skagway, Alaska.

Most people didn’t think I had a heart.  I do have, you just have to reach way down in there to find it.  When you do, it’s like an extra-large Cherry Mash. Once you get past the outer rough layer, you find the sweet center inside.  When it came to showing emotion and feelings, you didn’t see a lot of that from me.  As a friend, when someone I cared about hurt, it caused me hurt too.  

Honestly, I tried to be a very caring person.  It was just hard for me to show it sometimes.

There are people in our lives that have always been there. In fact, we don’t think about them not being a part of our lives.  I am hoping, I was definitely one of those people for you.  Being a member of the Domino and Checker Club of Worth, a regular at the Senior Center for Dominos, a past member of the Chamber of Commerce, the Grant City Golf Club, the Grant City Cemetery Board and a mason with the Bethany Lodge, Bethany, Missouri. I’m going to miss seeing all of you around, especially on the bench on a summer day in front of Comish’s station.  

However you knew me, whether it was Duane or Comish, I will always be in your hearts.  Only God can take our memories away, so anytime we want, we can revisit the good times and laughs we had together. Yes, I’m gone, but will never be forgotten.

We all are special people to someone, and all of us love in our own way.  I will miss you all dearly for sure.  I hope all of you here today can say I’m better off for having known Duane “Comish” James. 

Looking back on life, I leave you with this.  ”I must have done something right!”  Right on!!  

Survivors include: Wife, Cathy James of the home, two daughters, Sherri (Preston) Slagle, Becky (Tyler) McElvain, all of Grant City,  three grandchildren, Kaylee and Claire McElvain, Cooper Slagle, one aunt Hellen Dredge, Wichita, Kansas, sisters Beverly Burton, Gentry, Missouri, Elaine (Carl) Owens, Grant City, Thelma (Stephen) Morris, LaVista, Nebraska, brothers Byland James, Hopkins, Missouri, Keith (Theresa) James, Arkoe, Missouri, Calvin James, Indianola, Iowa, Max James, St. Joseph, Missouri, Larry (Rachel) James, Cameron, Missouri, nieces, nephews and a host of other friends and loved ones.

Per Duane’s request his body has been cremated.  The family has requested friends attend the visitation on Saturday, December 19, 2020 from 3-6 PM at the Andrews-Hann Funeral Home, as seating will be limited for the memorial service which will be held there at 2 PM on Sunday.

The memorial service will be live-streamed on Andrews-Hann Funeral Home Facebook Page.  Social distancing and face masks are recommended for those attending services.  

Memorials may be given to the Worth County Athletic Department, Worth County R-3 School, 510 East Ave, Grant City, Missouri  64456.