Tuesday, July 2, 2019

In 1895, Chicago Man Fined for Snoring in Church

The October 12th, 1895 Catholic Tribune, printed out of St. Joseph, recounted the following story of a man who got fined for snoring in church:

The old Connecticut Blue Laws were revived for a moment in a Chicago court last Monday when Mr. Brown was assessed $5 and costs for disturbing a public meeting.

Brown occupied a front pew in a South Side church Sunday night. The music was good and the sermon soothing. He fell asleep, his head falling forward.

Then, there was a sound like the beating of the waves on a rock bound shore. First it was, “snu-g-g-h,” and then he would let off steam with a loud, “chew!” that stopped the preaching temporarily.
Michael Clutch, one of the pillars of the church, tapped Brown’s shoulder and whispered, “My dear sir, this will never really do.”

Brown rolled his head a little and sent forth a blast that made the windows rattle. He hung himself up in his collar, his face began to swell, and the only relief was the terrible snore. “Wake up, dear brother,” said Cletch, and finally shook the slumberer so hard that he awoke.

He also wanted to fight, and two policemen escorted him to the station. He spent a night in jail, and then paid his fine in disgust, intimating that he would never attend church again.

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