Help children develop a sense of responsibility

Children need to develop a sense of responsibility to be adequately prepared for adult living, says a University of Missouri Extension human development specialist.

“Teaching your children responsibility can begin when they are young and is one of the best values you can develop in your child,” said Nina Chen.

Cooperating with and helping others can be an important way for children to learn responsibility, she said. “Parents can help children develop and improve their cooperative attitudes. For instance, children learn cooperative attitudes through family projects when tasks are challenging, satisfying and appropriate for their levels of development, and when they feel that they are doing a real job.”

Young children need help in understanding the wishes and rights of others since they have not yet mastered the skills needed for satisfactory social relationships, Chen said. These occasionally need to be indicated to them.

“A regular family meeting is also a valuable learning experience for decision-making and teaching children cooperation,” she said. During the meeting, family members can discuss problems and issues, and plan events and outings together. This helps children learn cooperation, decision-making, problem-solving and responsibility.

Some tips that can help children learn to assume responsibility:

-Give children clear and positive instructions for doing a task and plenty of time to complete it.

-Avoid doing things for your children that they can do for themselves. Children must learn from their experiences; that takes trial, error and time.

-Ask children instead of ordering them. “Demanding or forcing them to do tasks is not the way to help children develop responsibility,” Chen said. “Children will be willing to help out when they feel they are needed and made to feel they can do the job.”

-Use consequences. Consequences teach children responsibility and decision-making. “It is important that parents explain to children what the consequences will be for breaking a limit,” she said. “Consequences also give children a choice to decide on consequences that are acceptable for parents.” This helps children develop a sense of accountability for their actions.

-Be a good role model. Children learn by watching and imitating what they see. Parents need to model appropriate behaviors such as keeping promises, sharing, cooperating, helping, taking care of their belongings and being responsible.

For more information from MU Extension on parenting, see www.missourifamilies.org/parenting or contact your local MU Extension Center.