Opinion: Green Acres

by Mickey Floyd
Sheridan West

When I visited Sheridan for the first time, back in the '80's, I was advised not to mention the TV show "Green Acres" because some of the local folks felt that it depicted an unsophisticated (hillbilly) lifestyle. And it was a slap in the face to the integrity of rural living. It had been by chance that I first came to this area, but it was by choice that Retha and I decided this was where we would live. Days turned to weeks, then months, then years, all the time reinforcing our decision and for more than a dozen years, I never told anyone that I once watched the show.

One afternoon last week, as I was setting at my desk, looking out at "acres" of CRP land covered with snow and hearing the sounds of the wind chill making a liar out of our already too low thermometer, I rembered why I was here. If I had still been in California, I would be looking at fences and rooftops. And the sounds I would be hearing would be the cars, trucks, and busses on the 60 freeway. I let my mind go back to an earlier time of the Green Acres incident. I wondered, "Why would anyone ridicule a place like this?" Then, an unexplored thought came to me, what if this is not an act of ridicule, but in reality, it was a show of envy?

Our local news is mostly about our kids doing well in school, sports, and just becoming good citizens while the metro news talks of gang shootings, drug deals, and children killing children*. Their news tells of thugs taking advantage of defenseless seniors, women, and children. Scamming the poor so they can buy high-dollar watches, luxury cars, and drugs. If someone here hits a rough spot in the road, they don't get robbed again when they need help. They get a helping hand fron neighbors. Not a "hand-out" but a "hand-up," and this is done so matter of fact that it's hardly even news-worthy. It's just one more way of neighbor helping neighbor. Local news seldom has a felony to bring to our attention, while in the "up-class" citified areas, if they print just half the felonies, there's no space left for the misdemeanors.

Not that we are without our own brand of homegrown idiots. Jerk pods who like to kill pets** and those who let their pets run loose and unattended are one class of neighbor I could do without. I have often thought if I needed to have a transfusion, please, top me off with a pint of blood type K9 and not any of the reclaim stuff who kill and/or neglect their pets. I have suggested before that when a jerk defiles our lifestyle he, or she, should be sentenced to do at least a six-month incarceration in LA. This might just give them a better sense of the true value of living in rural Missouri.

Green Acres was not entirely different from here; they had pretty girls, we have pretty girls. They helped one another, we help one another. Their phone system didn't work all that great, much like my cell phone. Their most valuable asset was the love of the land and each other. No difference there. Having evaluated these thoughts in my mind, I am now sure that Green Acres was written by writers who have never felt the spring grass growing under bare feet, they had never experienced the smell of hay being harvested, and they had darn sure never been to an Old Defiance Days Celebration. They were, in fact, envious of the rural lifestyle.

February is Boy Scout Month. There is a new troop forming locally. Do what you can to help out. This is a great way for boys to become young men and helping them will make you feel almost as good as if you had thanked a veteran. Hey, I just had an idea -- do both!

The opinions expressed here are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Sheridan Express or its advertisers.

*When our young people sight a target, it is with a license, adult supervision, and it usually puts meat on the table.
**There is still a reward outstanding for getting this one off the streets.